He ain't heavy...he's my table

Last night I put the kids to bed in the same bed. This is mostly on account of not having put the washing away which is piled up on the other bed. It had been a long and grueling day with The Special One. Little M was getting a bit grumpy with a very restless Tokoroth so I decided to give him The Talk.

I explained that Tokoroth was a bit different and that he needed Little M to look after him because as he got older other children might pick on him. Little M was immediately sombre and put his arms protectively around his little brother his chin set in fierce determination. I left them like that, little one curled up in his protective bigger brother's arms while I cleared up.

I went back to check on them a little later and Tokoroth was asleep. As it appeared that Tokoroth was not in any immediate danger and was now asleep, Little M had decided to make the most of having a little bother...



...by using him as a table. Give a little, take a little..

Aftermath

Once The Tokoroth was calmed, dressed and dispatched to nursery I took Little M to Starbucks so we could recover. I actually love breakfast time at home usually, today was an exception. Normally I am on full expert-mode for getting kids fed, dressed and out the door. Having failed on this occasion it was clear that we needed help. The help that comes in waxed cups.

Little M had a kids Hot Chocolate and I had a cappuccino. We sat calmly and chatted. I felt less of a failure as a parent. I made us late for school.

As we got to the door of his classroom I was mentally preparing some lame excuse for our lateness but as soon as the door opened Little M shouted up to the teacher: "we've been to Starbucks for hot chocolate!"

Busted!

Tantrums

Tantrums are normal behavior for most children and there is no reason why children with autism should be different. Tantrums are one of the most common problems in young children with autism. They appear to go into a state of rage, panic, anxiety or fear for no reason at all. What's worse though is that they last for ages and are inconsolable. All you can do is leave them to work through it...

Unless you are in a shopping centre. I leave you with this vision: yesterday I took him to the Galleria in Hatfield because I was looking for a shoe-rack (don't ask) and he threw a fit for no discernible reason. I picked him up and carried him through a crowd of curious onlookers as he arched his back, went rigid and cried "Help! Help!"

As an adult male I can tell you that holding a child who is shouting for help is NOT FUN! Probably the only reason no-one intervened is because the expression on my face was one of someone who would quite happily accepted intervention.

Argh. That is all.

It's Day Three of home alone with the kids. I was looking forward to this week and I'm mostly enjoying it but The Tokoroth is being SPECTACULARLY hard work. You expect kids to be a bit naughty or a bit disruptive sometimes that comes with being a kid. Mostly thought it is possible to talk/negotiate or simply impose your will upon them. Not so, this week, with the little fella. In his mind there is something he needs or wants but he gets frustrated trying to communicate it and I get frustrated with not understanding.

It's a world of frustration.

This morning he should have been at nursery at 8:00. Normally he wakes at 6:00. Today he woke at 7:30 (and there was no way I was going to interrupt him sleeping). Usually he eats breakfast like a hungry hippo, this morning he would not eat. Most mornings he polishes off as much juice or smoothie as is put in front of him, but not this morning.

I bought him a new outfit for nursery but he kept pulling his clothes off. All the time he screamed and screamed. Something was upsetting him, something about the routine was not right. I had done something wrong, in the wrong order or the wrong way but he couldn't tell me. Luckily I had plenty of sleep so my patience reserves were high and slowly, very slowly, he calmed down.

I cannot take the credit for calming him down. Little M suggested putting Mario Karts for the Wii on and letting Tokoroth watch him play. This may have just been a ploy by Little M to get on the Wii before school but it worked (as a ploy and a method to calm Tokoroth).

At 8:15 he was dressed, not screaming, and happily clutching his bag; off to see his friends at school. I dropped him off at nursery and we stopped to look at some pictures and he happily chatted and counted and gave me a cuddle and a kiss before running into class.

That. was. gruelling.